I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Randomize
