My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
