I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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