I'm laying in your front yard are you home
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
