We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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