I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Randomize