How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I smell like Dick and happiness
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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