i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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