Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I think your dad took our porno
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
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