I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Randomize
