I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize