I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Randomize
