How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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