We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
