According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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