when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize