why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
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