I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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