I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize
