No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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