So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
