yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Randomize
