everyone is single if you try hard enough
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Randomize
