You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Randomize
