I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
