You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Randomize
