dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize
