i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
