I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
