I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Omg I joined a choir last night...
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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