Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize