You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
