You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Randomize