Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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