His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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