id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
