So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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