Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
