she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
