I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I am naked and annoyed.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
