He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
