that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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