Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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