Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
