I just cut my nipple shaving
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
