Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
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