Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
handjob tips. give me some.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
