"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
The adults are the big ones right?
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
