He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize
