Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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