"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
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