Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
