oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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