So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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