I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
