ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
