were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize