Its about making memories worth repressing
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
