Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
