and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
