I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
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