Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
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