Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Randomize
