what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
