the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I have tasted many bathrooms
Randomize
