Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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