Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
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